Clingy girlfriends can be a lot of work, they may not leave you much room to breathe or get things done. They may shower you with lots of love and affection, but also may not want to let you out of their sight. This is not necessarily a bad thing, and it certainly does not make them bad girlfriends.
Needy girlfriends were not born this way, they were built this way by life’s traumas etc. Now, this isn’t an excuse, but it just means they need to be loved differently. Their clinginess usually stems from either childhood trauma or a lack of love and affection growing up. These shortfalls in their relationships turn into insecurities and then before they know it, they have the formula to become a clingy girlfriend.
8 Signs of a Clingy Girlfriend
So, what are the signs of a clingy girlfriend? There are many, but in this blog we will discuss some of the main needy girlfriend signs that we see regularly.
1. You’re always on the phone with her
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You may constantly receive texts and calls from your needy girlfriend, your social media might be blowing up with lots of tags and posts including photos of the two of you together and confessing their undying love for you.
This isn’t always a bad thing, but from there it can easily turn into using your phone to keep tabs on you and this is where this kind of behavior can end up problematic if it’s not addressed.
It’s one thing to post cute couple photos together, but it’s another thing if she’s trying to flood your timeline because she’s insecure and worried that you’ll forget about her or talk to other girls if she isn’t always right there.
2. Insecurities pop up around attractive friends or colleagues
You may find that your girlfriend is displaying insecurities around your attractive friends or colleagues.
You may notice some jealous behavior stemming and be wondering what’s up. Well, clinginess often leads from jealousy, fear, or anxiety. Your girlfriend may end up in a spiral of wondering whether you find these friends or colleagues more attractive than you find them.
By the time that a jealous comment slips out of her mouth, she’s probably ruminated about it a thousand times already.
3. You can’t go out without her
Needy girlfriends won’t enjoy you going out with your pals if she’s not around, or attending events without her. She may fear infidelity and be anxious that should you go out without her, you may fall into temptation with someone else.
You may just want to enjoy a night out with friends, but she’s sitting at home feeling anxious of what you might be up to, who you’re talking to, and so on.
This can cause her to cling closer to you, and become an even clingier girlfriend, which can lead to you feeling like you need more space and more time with your friends, and the cycle just repeats itself and gets more and more toxic each time.
4. She doesn’t have many friends
Often, girlfriends who have insecurities and become clingy will let go of their own friends and spend less time with family in order to spend more time with you. They want to align their hobbies and interests around yours so she can share in more time together with you.
These jealous or clingy tendencies might not only manifest themselves in her romantic relationships, but also in her personal relationships, so she may have pushed some of her friends away or acted jealously towards them and caused a rift.
5. She needs constant reassurance
As clinginess stems from a place of insecurity, fear, and anxiety, a clingy girlfriend will need constant reassurance of your love and desire for her. No matter how many times you say it, they will always need to hear it more.
In any relationship, it is healthy to reassure each other, but clinginess takes this reassurance to the extreme. If it’s extreme, then you know that your girlfriend is too clingy.
“Too clingy” can be a subjective thing, and it varies from couple to couple. Once it becomes a problem in your relationship, that’s when it’s safe to say that it’s something that needs to be addressed between the two of you.
6. She showers you in physical affection
Are you receiving showers of physical affection from your girlfriend? This isn’t always a bad thing but if they are constantly in your face showering you with kisses and hugs that you can barely breathe, then you may have a clingy girlfriend on your hands.
If she’s all over you in public, or when you’re around female friends, that could be reminiscent of her trying to mark her territory, so to speak.
7. She uses emotions to manipulate you
They may try to manipulate you using emotions such as giving you the silent treatment if you have done something wrong in their eyes, or they may withhold affection or love.
A clingy GF might shower you in affection one day, then start to pull back the next day. This can be a test to see if you’ll “chase” her, or react to her pulling back.
These can be common games that people play in a relationship, but doing it consciously with the intention to manipulate you and to see how you react is a red flag.
8. She tries to control your plans
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Clingy girlfriends will often try to control your plans. They will take control of your daily schedule and try to help you to plan your life, usually around them and what suits them. Once they start to take control of what you do in your spare time, you need to address the situation.
Different couples will require different amounts of space from each other, and this is something to navigate with your partner, but if you feel it getting out of hand or you just aren’t getting what you need, you have ever right to bring this up.
Here’s what to do if your girlfriend is behaving too needy and clingy towards you.
What To Do If Your Girlfriend is Too Clingy
Having a clingy girlfriend can be quite a stressful situation if you are not sure how to deal with it or communicate with her in a healthy way that makes her feel more secure in the relationship.
In many cases, it takes a special kind of person who is able to cope with being in a relationship with a clingy girlfriend. However, if you feel that you want to build on the relationship regardless of the clinginess, then there are some things you can do that will help to ease the situation.
Bear in mind that some people are just not compatible with each other, and that’s ok. Dating is basically just meeting people, seeing what you like, what you dislike, seeing if you’re compatible, and then going from there. Finding out you aren’t compatible with somebody isn’t a bad thing, it means you have the opportunity to meet somebody who will be a better fit.
There are normal levels of clinginess and then there are extreme levels of clinginess that you may not be equipped to deal with. It may be helpful to offer her someone to talk to about her insecurities or fears and help her to find where they stem from.
When we can get to the root of a problem, we can find an easier solution. Sometimes bringing in a professional can be helpful. It would be good to set some healthy boundaries, reassuring her that these are only in place to respect your privacy as well as prevent future arguments.
Use healthy reassuring methods to communicate with her. Choice of words and tone of voice are very important to note when communicating with someone who has high levels of insecurity.
Have a discussion around finding a healthy balance and build a relationship dynamic that works for both of you. This dynamic will give you the space that you need, while reassuring her that it does not mean you love her any less.
Final Thoughts on Having a Clingy Girlfriend
Having a clingy girlfriend is not necessarily a bad thing, as mentioned previously, they just need to be loved a little differently. Most times, they are not this way just because they want to be. They have very real fears and insecurities from past hurts that affect them and all their relationships negatively.
In extreme cases, a professional is required as you may be equipped to help her find the route of her problem. It also does not mean that they will stay this way, with some help and healthy communication, they will feel more secure and your stress will soon be over.
Knowing the signs of a clingy partner can help you to understand your partner, her needs, and to decide if this is something you’re willing to undertake.
You aren’t required to be in a relationship with someone if they’re acting in a way that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, but being able to spot the signs of a clingy girlfriend and making steps to alleviate her worries can be worthwhile if everything else in the relationship is great.
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