Maybe this year you've resolved to get better grades, stop fighting with your siblings, or save up your allowance. These are all great New Year's resolutions — but how about adding one more to the mix that'll improve your body, your mind — and your sex life? This year, think about how you can be sexually healthy.
Sexual health is something that affects all of us, whether we're currently sexually active or not. Sexual health is about more than using birth control, practicing safer sex, or being free of infection or dysfunction. It's about being emotionally, physically, and mentally aware of what you want and need sexually. It's also about communication and responsibility.
Here are seven things you can do to improve your sexual health:
1. Get the facts. Gather the information you need to make healthy sexual decisions — facts about anatomy, birth control, sexually transmitted infections, and safer sex. There is a lot of misinformation out there, so be sure to check your facts against trusted sources.
2. Get perspective. Forget expectations about how you "should" feel or look or express your sexuality. Listen instead to what your body and mind are telling you. Our bodies have a great capacity for pleasure — whether or not we look like a perfect "10" — and there is a far greater variety of sexual expression than what's depicted in mainstream media.
3. Know thyself. Facts alone can't improve your sexual health. Sexual health is rooted in self-awareness and self-knowledge — and you can't find that information in a book or online.
A key component of sexual health is knowing your body — what it looks like, how it works, and how it feels. Becoming more familiar with your sexual anatomy can help reduce the sense of shame or mystery some people have about their sex organs. People who are familiar with their sex organs are more likely to detect a possible infection or other health problem. And exploring through masturbation — touching one's own sex organs for pleasure — is one of the primary ways people learn what they do and do not enjoy sexually.
This kind of self-awareness informs relationships as well. You can begin to ask yourself bigger questions: What kinds of sex play do you want to engage in, and what kinds would you rather not? Are you attracted to women or men or both? How can you pursue your pleasure safely?
The better you know yourself, the better you are able to share yourself with another person.
4. Communicate. Communication is a vital part of any healthy sexual relationship.
When becoming sexual with a new partner, it's important to talk about expectations. What do you want from a sexual relationship — physically and emotionally? What are your boundaries? Communicating these expectations helps to put everyone on the same page.
It's also important to discuss birth control and safer sex. Which risks are you willing to take — and which ones aren't you willing to take? How will you and your partner share both the pleasure and the responsibility of a sexual relationship?
5. Get a check-up. Maintaining your sexual health is not something you accomplish all on your own. A health care provider can be a great ally.
Whether or not you are sexually active, it's important to take proper care of your reproductive and sexual health. For women, this means getting regular pelvic and breast exams. For men, this means getting your prostate and testicles checked. Depending on the risks you've taken, you may want to be tested for sexually transmitted infections. You and your health care provider can decide together which tests may be right for you.
6. Get support. One obstacle to sexual health is sexual abuse. The World Health Organization estimates that as many as one in four women and one in 10 men have been the victim of some form of sexual abuse, including rape. Many find support groups or individual therapy to be helpful. Support groups and individual therapy can provide a place where fears and concerns can be safely expressed and explored.
Substance abuse and mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders, or anxiety can also affect your sexual health. Getting support in dealing with these issues can help ensure that you are making healthy choices when it comes to your sex life.
7. Enjoy yourself! Enjoying our sexuality is a normal, natural part of life. For many people, however, there is so much guilt, embarrassment, and shame associated with sex that the pleasure is lost. A social climate that demonizes sex doesn't help.
It's important to our sexual health to be able to enjoy our sexuality and the way we express ourselves sexually. The first six steps to sexual health can help us become more responsible and secure in our sexuality and in our sexual relationships. They provide a foundation for allowing us to enjoy our sexual selves to the fullest.
Sexuality and relationship info you can trust from Planned Parenthood® Federation of America
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